Lived Experience Forum

[Jlol]

I find I am a point in my MH journey where I am feeling that I could manage it a bit better. The problem is time and energy.

I've taken a few days off and had long weekends. Undoubtedly my MH improves when I have more time to invest in looking after it and myself.

However, this is unsustainable. When I am at work my MH deteriorates a lot. 

Don't get me wrong: I like my work and work place. It's probably the best job I've had and don't want to change it. But like any job it takes time and energy and I feel I really need that time and energy to look after myself.

I can't take time off work or reduce my hours. Cost of living prevents that.

Has anyone been in a similar situation? What did you do?

[Asgard]

Hi @Jlol 

Hope this finds you well and welcome to the forums.   Looking after yourself mentally is hard these days, finding the time for yourself is tricky when we all have so many people wanting a piece of us.  One thing I used to do at work was find a place where I could relax away from everyone and everything.  I would stick it in my diary and no one was allowed to interfere with that time.  I was lucky in that I would be doing site visits for much of my day, but for that 1 hour, I switched off the phone, found a nice tree with a nice view and just sat and closed my eyes.  Am sure you will find what works for you.  🙂

[Alonely]

I've started scheduling myself one day of leave every month. I use the time to get out for a hike or long walk on the coast or around the harbour. My parents also visit so we can go out walking together. It helps clear the mind and feel relaxed to get out in nature. I usually find myself remarking that I feel like I am on holidays, it is so refreshing. 

[tyme]

That's a good idea @Alonely . 

With me, I used to work extra M-T, Th-F, so that I could have Wednesdays off for myself. So I still worked the same number of hours, but just spread it over 4 days instead of five. I found the midweek day off very refreshing @Jlol 

[MermaidHair]

Hey @Jlol, I really hear you, time and energy is the one of the biggest battles when it comes to any sort of mental health journey. I think the fact you are managing to work fulltime, although it takes it's toll, is no small feat, it is a huge effort. Work, life and self care balance is something a lot of people struggle with and burnout is always a risk.

If reducing days, hours or duties is absolutely not an option, and I know what that's like, what works for me is using the free time that I do have very very mindfully. I try to fill my cup as much as possible in the little pockets of time with things that bring me joy. For me it's enjoying good food, relaxing, reading, stealing a moment in nature and getting a good nights sleep.

I hope you find what works for you

[MayaBird07]

Hi @Jlol 

I wish I could say I had it all figured out. Trying to juggle work, wellness and life is a battle.

I know when I get home from work, the only thing I like to do is sit on my phone with Netflix playing something in the background until I fall asleep only to face the same thing the next next day, life felt almost robotic. 

I have recently been forced to take a break from work due to my mental health and it was a big wake up call in to the importance of prioritising my own self care. I have been seeing a counsellor each week which has helped me with things like goal setting but also showed me the importance of scheduling and planning the day ahead. 

I cant afford a gym, because you're right, the cost of living makes living difficult. But I have been just committing myself to going for a 30 min walk a few times a week, and it is genuinely helping me feel a little better. I have started doing a yoga practice again, which are just videos I follow on YouTube. It's good that things like this don't cost anything, and they are things that just help you feel good.

When you feel good, things don't seem to feel so bad, if that makes sense.

I've learned recently through Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) about the importance of mindfulness and how it helps reduce anxiety, I know things like colouring books might seem pointless but tuning out to a mindless task is really beneficial and an easy way to tune out and calm down. 

There is no easy answer and I don't think anyone has it all figured out. I hope when I return to work I am able to use what I have learned to help me better cope as life doesn't stop for anyone, unfortunately. Prioritising time for self care is all I can recommend, whatever that looks like for you. 

I hope you have a good weekend ahead. 🙂 

[ArraDreaming]

Hey @Jlol competley understand, I only work 3 days and have my young kids at home the other 2 days… I haven’t full time (as I’m leaving my house to go to work full time, parenting at home is work) for I think about 2 or 3 years… maybe even longer…
financially that has been a bit of an issue I will admit that.
But I find similar between working and raising a family, what goes first on the list of priorities? Us, the practical burden of trying to fit in appointments and life admin is one thing, the mental load of having to do those things in the few hours you have down time is exhausting and sometimes doesn’t feel worth it…. Or places just aren’t open
I really don’t have a helpful solution for you I’m sorry just know this issue is felt all around…. it sucks
The two days I am not at work I feel like yes it is busy but I can find some relief in getting a few practical things done but I really understand how much working full time out of the house is a giant pain and your self care and ability to just do life’s things is hard, I get ya been there

[Spirit_Healer]

Hey @Jlol , that's a very good question, and I think @Asgard and @MermaidHair have already provided some great suggestions.

Mine would be: make sure to take your breaks throughout the day. I see many colleagues working through their break times - but I always make a point of taking mine. I need the time to recharge and I justify it, knowing that I'm likely more vulnerable than most of them. If it helps, you could try popping on a quick mindfulness practice like the ones on Smiling Mind - I have found them very good as a circuit-breaker when things get overwhelming or tiring. Also, eat your meals at regular times and develop a consistent routine if you can.

Create a boundary between work and home, to whatever extent you can. It may mean completing work at work only, even if you need to stay a bit longer. Or it may mean, if you do need to take work home, designating 'work' time, 'leisure' time and 'rest' time separately, to make sure you give your mind a chance to switch off.

Have a support network - family, friends and health professionals - and seek their help when needed.

And if you find yourself deteriorating, take a circuit-breaker. It is better to take one day off every now and then, than have two sleepless nights become a week and then a full blown MH episode.

These are the things which help me to work full-time, it can be trial-and-error, see what works for you.

@tyme @ArraDreaming 

[Hyperballad]

Hi @Jlol 

yes very relatable. I work FT and am going through therapy for MH and have found that stressful. It’s made me really value weekends. One of the things I do is set aside time for mindful breathing … like an hour … to help regulate emotions and anxiety. Therapy throws up its own challenges that I need to manage and I’m hoping that improves. I returned to therapy about 7 months ago (have been through therapy in other times in my life) and have been really vulnerable in our sessions. I took on a secondment promotion  in a sensitive environment that can be triggering but have had to make the decision to prioritise my MH and return to my original role so I can stabilise a bit.

its though too because there isn’t always the space and understanding at work for these experiences. 

but the key thing for me is to prioritise MH because that’s what’s most important.

It’s nice to know I am not alone in this experience 

[SkySeeker22]

Hi @Jlol 

I know there are already some good ideas form other here, but though I would share with you some things that have worked for me in the past.  I can totally relate to the time/energy/money dilemma that you are going through.

I started meditating because of stress from work.  I just knew that I couldn't change my work situation at the time so made it a priority to do something for myself everyday. I would set my alarm 30mins earlier to do this before I started my day so I wouldn't have the excuse when I got home that I was too tired or wound up after work to really have the benefit on my mind and body that I needed.

I also schedule time for myself in my calendar.  Even though my work days are the same hours each day, I block them out in my calendar in a particular colour (grey for me) and then schedule my own self-care activities in a different colour (orange so it stands out).  I find that even though they may be few and far between some weeks, that that bright visual representation makes it quick and easy to see things that I have planned coming up for myself and because they are scheduled in my calendar (with reminders) that I hold myself accountable to keeping the "appointment".  These self-care activities can be "30 minute walk at the beach" or even "30 minutes calming music and face mask".  It might sound silly putting this in a calendar but no one sees it except me, and it really helps having that visual representation of things I am doing just for me.

I hope your week hasn't been too stressful so far

Warm regards

SkySeeker22