New season, new goals, reset and new commitment to self care...

[tyme]

Fair enough @Determined 

How are you today @Determined ? I'm thinking about you and Darling.

[Determined]

Had some wins yesterday @tyme 

Today has been a write off.

Promised fixes at work to resolve issues yesterday. (Fixes promised without actually addressing a complaint I made)

Either way while the approach was disappointing it was a win.

Some hiccups today have raised (in my mind) if I have the resilience to continue in this space.  If I can hang on for 5 more week until Christmas break I may be ok but not sure I can.

Perfectly safe, just exhausted from stress at work.  Someone's personal story this morning has had me on the brink of tears all day. In fact I burst into tears this morning when I was told. Foot in mouth moment at work. Had a solution for something and got a gentle, fyi that won't work because 😭

[Determined]

Earlier in the week we renewed a safety plan for Darling. That was a win.

I need all of my energy to support Darling, and I am wasting it at work. 💤 😴 

[tyme]

At least you had some wins @Determined . Can't complain there even though the way it was executed wasn't ideal.

Hang in there mate. I'm here if you need a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen.

I'm thinking of you. I hold you close to my heart because I know you are doing your best.

[Determined]

...

[Determined]

...

[Determined]

It has been a while since I visited the forums, mostly due to capacity.

I debated if I should start a new thread but found this one I had forgotten about, the title fits and previous pages provide context, so here we go.....

Disclaimer, while not ok, I am safe.

If anything seems vague it is to avoid breaching guidelines..

So the last 2 weeks of work have broken me. The last 4 or 5 months have been a mess but the last 2 weeks have finished me off. I gave notice this week effective immediately. I was required by contract to give 2 weeks notice, I supplied my resignation letter with a medical certificate for 4 weeks off work.

This sits really badly with me, I left without talking to many people I actually care about.

I was in a role best described as operational/ technical support without being too specific.  In my mind while the actual role is technical for me it was about the personal connections with people.

So walking away without actually talking to these people hurts. I could not however do another day.

I am still fielding questions remotely for handover for the next week. This is  an example of why job diversity is good and reliance on a single person is stupid from a leadership point of view, and evidence that leadership is actually clueless to the scope of my job. Also the reason my former supervisor quit and was not replaced.

[Determined]

So here I am broken to the point of being unable to make basic decisions.

A morning trip to town with family and home for a 2 hour sleep to recover. 

Hence the return to

New season

New goals and

New commitment to self care.

I want to get back into regular walking and cycling. Dust off the motorcycle and also get back into the garden.

[tyme]

Oh hun @Determined .

I'm sorry this has happened. I hear how much this hurts and I feel it. Because it happened to me too. I just couldn't take the workplace anymore. It was terrible. My knowledge and skills were not acknowledged and I was side-lined even though I was doing so much. In the end, enough was enough. I told everyone I was leaving and left. I mean, I texted everyone I knew. And it's a big workplace with over 300 people. 

Whilst it was a relief, the pain of the loss hit hard. I was at the workplace for 10 years and saw it grow from the beginning. I had a lot of connections that I'd never got to say goodbye to. And yes, it took weeks to recover. I took time off as I had nearly 6 months worth of leave to utilise. I was mentally in a terribly state to the point of being numb, unable to do even the basic of basic things.

@Determined , it will take time to work through this grief. Whilst you know it's probably the decision you needed to make, it doesn't make it any easier. And look, I'm a pretty strong person, but even then, it broke me. I felt a significant loss - not for the sake of management, but all those who'd I'd connected with.

You are really not alone in this. I feel your pain and I acknowledge grief is involved.

During the time, I ensured I slept, ate and exercised on a regular basis. This was very helpful. It didn't take away the pain, but it meant I wasn't bogged down and hurt for longer than was necessary.

Hugs

[Determined]

Thanks @tyme 

Have been here before.

Jumping ship a bit earlier this time.

I did not work full time for 9 years after my last burnout. This round has triggered a world of memories and hurt I thought I had delt with.

I am able to take this break with the generous financial support of family. 

The final straw this time was management telling me I am unapproachable and people are complaining about my standard of support. Staff I work with are saying quite the opposite. Just management gaslighting to deflect the fallout of having 1 person covering the work of 2, with the departing staff member being highly experienced and the person left (me) being new in this field.

This has resulted in an unavoidable reduction in service delivery despite working longer hours.

What staff have been saying is that determined needs help he is sinking and we are concerned about his well-being. 

This vent aside I want this space to focus on the wins for the goals stated above.

My only regret with the job I have just left is not leaving 5 months ago. I wanted to but was scared around providing for my family. 

This space prior to that has been an amazing space for growth and healing. 

We will manage financially, I just like to be self sufficient. That is a pride thing that I need to address because it is in this context unhealthy.