Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

[Determined]

Hope things are ok for you today @Former-Member, understand you have some concerns at the moment so you remain in my thoughts.

[Former-Member]

Hey @Determined
We all need to let off steam ... hope we weren't too helpful ...

[Former-Member]

@Determined
'being too helpful' = offering unwanted advice when you really wanted an ear

[Determined]

Appreciate the input @Former-Member

Also answered some questions I did not know how to ask or if I should ask.

There are some relationship aspects that I am able to understand when things are uncertain that I find it difficult to accept when things are more steady.

Sometimes it feels as though because I have made a commitment to stay and support my darling no matter how hard things are that she feels she does not have to try at all. (That is not intended as an attack on my darling, just acknowledging some emotions).  Hard to explain that without being too personal.

[Determined]

Things seem to be going ok at the moment after starting the new med. Still a long way from me being able to relax but relative to a couple of weeks ago I am at least able to leave her alone and with the children.

A few little OCD traits (if I can call it that) have emerged that I am watching, more out of curiosity than concern. 

Also unsure as to why dose of the new med was increased today when things seem to be improving. Darling wants me to come to her next review in 2 weeks to ask. I just need to find a way to ask as in seeking understanding without it being perceived as questioning judgement.

[Former-Member]

Hearing you Bro ...

@Determined re: meds perhaps saying your Darling asked you to clarify as she was not quite sure how you will know when therapeutic levels have been reached particularly as she seems to be responding well and is keen to take the lowest dose needed for symptom relief. Of course there is Dr Google ...

[Determined]

That actually sounds like a good approach @Former-Member I think he would probably respond ok to that approach.

Have done a bit of dr google today and it seems that it is a low starting dose that she is currently on.

Hard not to be anxious around increased risk of side effects as dose increases. Particually when food and fluid intake is not optimal.

[Smc]

@Determined I think it's fairly standard practice to start meds on a low dose so that the person's system has time to adjust to them. Full dose from the start is more likely to bring on reactions. Our daughter was only started on a full strength dose of the meds she's on when she was in a clinic, and they could closely supervise her reactions. 

Re. yesterday's post- as long as it was helpful for you overall. I was pushing my "disclosure boundaries" a bit too, but perhaps an anonymous forum is the best setting for doing so? This stuff's hard. We all need a chance to talk it out sometimes.

[Determined]

Thanks @Smc 🙂 

I understand the starting a low dose and slowly lifting it to avoid side effects so if it was not working or limited effect great and makes sense (have been there plenty of times before)  but my query is why the need to lift it if the low dose has served its purpose. (In this instance the suicidal ideation seems to have lifted).

Very much appreciate you 'pushing your boundaries' yesterday, yes it was helpful, and in seeing things from both sides of the equation also.  

Yes some of this stuff is hard but it does help to talk about it and definitely only possible in an anonymous setting like this. 

something that I have wanted to ask about but never know where or how to start 😞 

[Smc]

Fair question re. meds. Sounds like something to check with the doctors. 

Glad yesterday was helful. I'll be off to bed soon, so hope you get a good night's sleep.