Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

[Determined]

Just need to vent!

Not a happy home at the moment.

Have a water leak that I can't find (300L / Hour leak) darling is loosing her mind over it. FiL keeps asking is it fixed hours after I downed tools for the day. 

Spent the best part of a day up to my arm pits in mud and all I get is it should be fixed. Tomorrow we have another visit to the hospital with S3 that is 7-8 hour round trip plus time at the hospital. We are all stressed about that. He still is not right after his anaesthetic 2 weeks ago. Still in pain. Feel like I am loosing my mind. 

Submitted an Application for a job that will be 5 days per week. Feeling atm this can't possibly work. Feeling resentful about feeling that maybe it is a bad idea. 🥺

Rant over. 

[Shaz51]

Ohh sending you lots of hugs my friend @Determined ❤

@Anastasia , @Smc , @Former-Member , @Faith-and-Hope 

[Determined]

Dr appointment went well today. As well as it possibly could. 

Long drive on the back of 2 hours sleep but we made it down and back without incident. And I have a job interview in the new year. 

So at the end of a less than ordinary week today has been a pleasant change.

Still not sure how this job opportunity (if I am even successful) can balance with everything else I have going on around me. But I can ask some.questions at the interview. 

Darling has opened up and validated my concerns about her. But at least talking to me so seeing that as a positive also. 

[Determined]

Well things are/ were a little more level here now.

Leak found and repaired. Checked water meter against last water bill. Next water bill will  be over $1K 😬

Yard looks like a mine field. Craters and  holes everywhere. 

Now we have another leak. This time in the (new) roof after a storm yesterday 😕

Thinking I need to install some additional downpipes. 

[Determined]

Things do appear level enough to have a pleasant Christmas day however. Despite darling and I both feel like we have ripped the children off with our lack of festivities.

Boys appear happy enough. 

[Shaz51]

Merry Christmas @Determined 😀👋❤🎄🎁

One step at a time tomorrow my friend 

And that is a positive that your darling was able to open up and talk 

Hugs for your family 

Merry Christmas @Anastasia , @Smc , @Faith-and-Hope 🎁🎄❤

[Determined]

Job interview tomorrow.

Will be my first real job interview in over 20 years :nauseated_face:

Mixed emotions what to do if I am successful....

Will be 5 days per week.

Darling is already showing signs of.anxiety re me not being on hand. Will be my first job (if I am successful) where she is not able to  just call me or pop in and visit. Not sure how   sustainable that will be.

They will hopefully only be short days though, hanging out for tomorrow for more detail. 

Unsure how much to disclose on 'this may not work out if my wife gets unwell'

At the same time I see it a potentially a great opportunity long term. 

[Determined]

@Faith-and-Hope 

Not sure where to connect with you now so saying hi and thinking of you here 

[Shaz51]

Will be thinking of you lots  tomorrow  @Determined and praying for you and your darling and hoping it all goes well 

How is your sons going 

@Anastasia , @Smc , @Faith-and-Hope , @Former-Member 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @Determined ❣️
I am still on "my" thread on the Carers side of the forums, but life has been so chaotic and stormy with events that could be identifiable for anyone who laced them together in my irl world that I have been sitting a bit quietly in the background fir a while.

Please do continue to tag me because I am responding to those .....

Lobe to y'all who are reading along here ..... 👋☕️💕