Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

[Former-Member]

Checking in @Determined to see how you are going.

[Determined]

Doing ok here @Former-Member 

[Former-Member]

@Determined  trust you have a blessed weekend Bro.

[Determined]

Thanks @Former-Member 

You too. 😊

[Determined]

Evening all, 

We are on the brink of a crisis here and not sure what to do.

Darling has been verbally abusive is having a lot of talk about self harm (permanent type). It is hard to gauge if this talk is serious or just being said to hurt me. (A fair measure of the latter unfortunately I think). Again this is right before I have a significant assessment. I have a group presentation at 8am tomorrow that I am trying to focus on, if things have not improved in the morning I will have to arrange some supervision before I head off to Uni lookin glike being late. Being a group assessment this affects more than just me 😐

To top this off FIL went to hospital by ambulance this afternoon, he called while we were out shopping. Now he has been transferred to a hospital 70km away. not answering his phone so I have no Idea what is going on.  Probably he is happy to escape the bad energy in the house at the moment.   

[Determined]

Despite the fact that in her mind I don't care, I do understand darling is desperately missing her mum at the moment and I fail to see how treating me like crap improves the situation. 

I honestly don't know what else I can do to prove to her that I care and am here to support her.  Times like today if it was not for my commitment to hang in and support my family no matter what it would be really easy to give up and walk away. Darcy's emotional resilience thread has been most valuable this past week.  

[Former-Member]

@Determined  - perhaps tackle one thing at a time.

Can you ring hospital nurse station to check.on FIL?

Can you make arrangements for supervision for tomorrow this evening?  Anything else in the safety plan that needs activation?

Sending gentle thoughts your way.

[Determined]

@Former-Member  I will have to call the hospital in the morning, I am not even 100% sure what hospital they are taking Dad to so may have to ring around. Then I will need to get passed all of the privacy crap to even get hold of him. May have to go in and see our hospital here for assistance if that becomes an issue. 

I managed to get hold of my mum and she will be dropping by early tomorrow so I can be at uni by 7:30, have not told darling yet, I will tell her in the morning as this measure will not be at all well received and I can't deal with any more drama tonight.

This measure is effectively sticking to one of our boundaries (or a variation of) in that if I am concerned for darlings safety then supervision will be arranged. (I don't think the risk is high enough to warrant hospital or an ambulance but it is definitely high enough to call in family help and supervision).

[Former-Member]

Now that you have dealt with the necessary practicalities, is there something you can do that might help you calm a little?

[Determined]

At this late stage @Former-Member  the best I can do is a nice hot shower and try and get some rest. I have done as much prep as I can on this presentation now so time for some down time away from the screen.  I usually look at some motorcycle touring videos on youtube before bed but time away from a screen may be more benefical right now.

Thanks for checking in but think I will head off now.

Trust all is as well as it can be for you and Mr Darcy.