Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

[Determined]

Well I had my last exam for the semester this morning.. have to wait 3 more weeks to find out how I went. Not feling super confident but am hopeful of a good mark overall. 

Now it is time to really start on some items of self care,

I have an appointment with the gp on Friday to check on progress (or lack of)

I was suposed to start a new med after my last appointment (anti-anxiety) but only filled the script this afternoon. I did not want to start something new in the middle of assesment as I often initally respond poorly. 

Have a couples councilling appointment tomorrow, we have not been back for a couple of months, 

I have to concess I was a little sour feeling I was the only one putting in and having to take time out of study to do it so have been focussing on me first. 

So my goals for the next couple of weeks is getting into some significant exercise, try again with the diet (after a good start the last week has been a complete fail), get into some yard work and having a big clean out of my office and shed.

Thursday's task is to make a priority list on a big whiteboard I have in my office. 

Friday is to get the boat sorted so weather permitting we can take the boys out on the weekend. 

[Determined]

I am feeling quite low at the moment and all of that sounds quite overwhelming but I hage to start somewhere. I know from previous experience that making good progress around the yard often is a big 'pick me up',  nothing like a big fire to melt away some tension lol 

Providing the boat is not stuffed from being left out in the weather for so long  some time on the water should help also. Hoping also to catch up on some rest and get a sleep routine happening again. 

[Determined]

The other thing I have just been reminded of by a pic Darcy shared on the hot choc thread is to get in touch with someone I have recently been introduced to for a catch up. He is a retired gent (farther of a lady I work with) who shares common interests. 

[Former-Member]

[Former-Member]

Thinking of you today Bro as you go for counseling appt.

[Determined]

Feeling miserable and worthless after today's appointment @Former-Member

It is clear that she hates and resents me, the only reason we are still together is she has nowhere else to go.  I don't know what to do any more. I am not going to give up easy as it would be at the moment but I do need to find a way forward in our current situation while focusing a little more on my own health and wellbeing. 

[Determined]

This is the reason I used to work stupid long hours before I burned myself out ot the point I can't work. And while I am in this current enviornment I cant see that (the being burnt out) changing any time soon. There was never any incentive to come home. 

[Former-Member]

 @Determined ....sending very tender thoughts your way.

Getting in a better place physically and mentally is one of the best things you can do yourself.

[Determined]

Thanks @Former-Member, appreciate your thoughts,

[Determined]

Hoping I did not come across as nasty or disrespectful towards my darling earlier, that was never my intention ☹