Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

[Determined]

Joint self care:

1. We have just started relationship counselling and need to follow through with this.
2. Regular date outings without children, at least once a week.
3. Regular family outings in our boat or just to the beach or park or somewhere the children would like to go.

Fail to all of these.

We had a couple of random lunch out at a cafè but need to be more consistant. (2)

(3) boat needs some attention. That was a pre Christmas job but boat still in the shed growing dust. 

[Determined]

Try again, I just lost the first attempt. 

Self care goals for 2019.

Not in any particular order...

1. Attend a weekly men's bible study when it resumes at start of school term.

2. Exercise.

Now we are living closer to town this is much easier with lots of walking paths near by 😁

I will be walking to Uni and work.

Aiming to walk after dinner each evening as long as the light holds out (will be a bit hard in winter) and

Darlings wants us to go for an early morning bike ride each morning. 

3. Join the local photography club.

I have just had a flyer randomly pop up on my FB feed so have no excuses as I now have all the required details 😀

4. Regular social catchup 

I have recently connected with the father of a work colleague (retired) who shares similar interests and values. 

5. More regular date outings with my darling. Free from technology distractions.

6. More regular family outings. Boat or bush walk or similar outdoor activities free from technology distractions. 

7. Regular me time outings on my newly acquired motor bike ( I get my open licence mid Feb, currently on my L).

8. I need to loose about 20kg. In addition to all the Christmas cheer I have recently put on lol. 

All of my clothes seem to be shrinking 😬

[Determined]

Quick update re mum inlaw.

She is still in hospital. Has some sort of infection they are unable to locate 😞

Darling and fil seem optimistic that she is getting better but I think they are seeing what they want to see. In my eyes she seems to be getting kore and more frail. I feel like I am going to cry every time I see her 😢

I am also concerned FIL is becoming more and more depressed and feel powerless to do anything about it. 

S2 can see where things are headed, S1 just keeps asking why is she not home yet. I dont know if he simply does not understand or does not want to....

S3 seems to be reluctant to visit last couple of times despite being happy enough once we are there. I suspect he senses all is not well but how can one possibly know what a 3yo is thinking. 

Going for a faimly day out tomorrow as the boys have some Christmas money burning a hole In their pockets and want to go shopping. We are going out of town to a larger shopping center. 

I am hoping to check out some toysnfor my bike whilemwe are there 😁

[Smc]

@Determined, am guessing S3 may simply be finding the hospital strange and kind of boring? When I had my emergency surgery years back, regardless of how much they loved their Mum, our kids were getting reluctant to come in for visits because there was so little for them to "do" while there.

[Former-Member]

@Determined how did you ho today?

[Determined]

Was not a bad day @Former-Member 😊

[Determined]

Another ok day here today.

Went to the beach with the children.

Mum and I rode our bikes while darling drove  down in the car. Boys had a great time in the water and in a big playground. 

Did not get to see MIL today as we got back later than expected but FIL said she is doing ok. 

[Determined]

Just found out that MIL has been moved into an isolation ward... FIL failed to pass on that little gem. He did say she was I  a room by herself now. Just got a msg from mil adding that there are additional requirements for visiting. Will find out tomorrow I guess 😐

[Shaz51]

hugs and thinking of you @Determined

[Former-Member]

@Determined thinking of you and yours.