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Looking after ourselves

The-red-centaur
Senior Contributor

How to manage self sabotage

I'm sure I'm not the only who thinks (though not consciously) 'oh wow I've had a good day, this isn't me, I need to destroy my day or trigger myself, why, because that's all I deserve' 

 

On a more serious note, how do let's talk about how we can stop ourselves from self sabotaging our good times. 

 

This is something I really need to learn. 

12 REPLIES 12

Re: How to manage self sabotage

@The-red-centaur I don't have any good answers at the moment unfortunately.
At the moment when I feel like doing something self sabotaging I have been trying to check what I'm actually feeling.
Usually I don't really want to do the sabotage but it's to help me meet some other need that I am having, typically (for me) feeling lonely/angry/sad/not good enough. Then, once I know the problem a bit better, I can find something to do to address the problem in a less sabotagey way. Meet the need rather than mask it, if you get my drift.

Re: How to manage self sabotage

Hi @The-red-centaur - what a great topic! The tricky part about self sabotage is often we don't recongise it in ourselves when it's happening. I like your approach @TheVorticon - understanding the function of self sabotage and addressing the underlying cause rather than getting caught up in unhelpful coping skills. 

Re: How to manage self sabotage

Me too with this topic. Have done it today 😔

i don’t know why I have today. For me I know it’s not about not deserving it. I think it’s more a fear of the crash that will come after or being too high and therefore impulsive and then fearful of inadvertently destroying something or someone. 

Re: How to manage self sabotage

Today sounds so difficult @Teej. Sometimes, no matter how self aware we are, we find ourselves getting caught up in old ways of doing things. You've done well to notice it and to reach out for support. What have you found helpful in bouncing back from self sabotage? 

Re: How to manage self sabotage

I was reading about a quiz re 30 types of self sabotage.

There were good things about it, but the presenters also, mentioned the "ick" factor as a determining characteristic ... so that for me was a BIG FAIL.  They sabotaged themselves with me, but it was only me, probably heaps will buy the book.  We need an eye roll emoticon on the forum. Please.

Take Care All

@The-red-centaur @Teej @TheVorticon @Margot

 

Re: How to manage self sabotage

Hi @Appleblossom,
Was this an online quiz or something different?
I'm not sure what you mean by "ick" factor - can you explain that further or provide a link?

Re: How to manage self sabotage

I think im pretty good at self sabotage as well and also rarely realise it until after or when im in a deep hole all on my own. .. how to break the cycle(s)?

Re: How to manage self sabotage

@TheVorticon you put your finger on it ... an ick factor is not a very objective factor.

So it peeved me ... but you guyz can have link.

 

I have been aware of self sabotage at the time it happens for a long time, but could not stop it ... so its been a concern for me for a very long time ...I self sabotage much less now ... so things have improved.  I might do the quiz .. when I have time.

 

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/in-practice/201805/30-types-self-sabotage-and-what-do-about-...

Good my link thing worked this time Woman Happy

 

Re: How to manage self sabotage

That was really good, useful, very scarily familiar....thanx for sharing
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