Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Dadcaringalone]

@Libra @greenpea

Thanks for your Saturday morning message. I was wondering the other day how things are going for you. I can remember that you were pretty anxious before the tribunal. It sounds like it turned out pretty well, its a pity your son wasn’t as positive about it as you but that’s understandable.

Glad that you like our posts and thanks so much for suggesting Dadawesome, that’s very cute and yes greenpea is certainly a sweetpea!

So glad you are feeling better off your antidepressants. My daughter tried them last year during her year 12 and they were making her feel terribly sick and some of the really risky side effects were really hard to manage during her exams so much so that we were nightly on the phone with lifeline, the suicide call back service and beyond blue. We got thru and now she’s in a much better place drug free with counseling on the mental health plan when required. I have written alot about my son on these and I’ve noticed he is much better after being weaned off them, but it not for everyone and I know of a few family friends who need to regularly stick with them to get them out of the dark place they find it really difficult to go thru alone. I know I was in a really bad place when my son had undiagnosed schizophrenia on no medication and our altercations with the police which really had a big impact on our family.

So glad your son sounds more balanced and I’m sure that support pension has really taken some of the pressure off because I know how tough it is to manage financial issues around mental health. My son has given up on Centrelink and NDIS and has some pretty entertaining opinions about these agencies and what they provide for highly functioning people with schizophrenia. A recent inquiry to an NDIS provider rediciculxously suggested he could get something like meals on wheels or an old lady coming into his apartment and I know that carers can only be supported thru the need recepient so forget about that for me. Glad your son is getting out there into the online dating game and has enough phone credit because social engagement is really important for those effected by this terribly illness as they become particularly sensitive about their relationships and people don’t understand them as well as family.

Please feel free to post anytime because you have some great experiences and perspectives to share with others. I really enjoy hearing from you. Have an awesome weekend and keep truck’n

Thanks for your great insights

[greenpea]

@Libra Hi Libra nice to meet you :). What a great bunch of people we have here on the forums. I learn so much reading people'sstories and getting feedback on what I have written.  It really is so beneficial. I wish you and your son luck with him getting a place. It can be hard on a DSP but not impossible as I have a carer's pension and share my place with my son (he has a DSP) and daughter. I am sure the right place will come along. Online dating OMG!! I amso lucky that my son's disability would make that almost impossible for him. I am hoping that he will meet a nice girl at his day care program or his special needs disco that he attends once a month. Online dating would be a disaster for him. I wish your son well and hope he too meets a really nice person.

Hope you enjoy the rest of your weekend. greenpea xxx

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Libra

thank you for your message. your personal journey has elements of my life. 

the most important thing is you. I didn’t learn this until I met and married my husband : that’s a funny story ..............we did everything backwards : ...........he diagnosed in 1989 : we went to high school 2 gether married at 42 yrs : he decided to quit self medicating and ended up in jail. I put restraining order on him and 18 months later: he came back clean : never used again. Well it’s been 3 years. Sane forums has helped me through this time. 

my oldest son had his first major Psychosis at 20 but guess who called him every day and spoke to him ? My darling husband.  Because of my son and his Dad having a very fractured relationship. My oldest brother was caring for him in Queensland. 

If if you decide Oprah Winfrey helps you you may want to set aside a specific time for her every day or second day. 

The thing what gets me throughy is guided meditation by Jon Kabat Zinn. Also a

Carer twice per week to meditate with me and my craft work. When my youngest son recovered and is managing his life from glioma brain tumour..... I burnt out badly. 

No no matter what: believe in yourself @Libra

[greenpea]

@Dadcaringalone Hi Dadcaringalone I think you are pretty funny and supportive too 🙂 and I suppose we are both in such similar positions it is natural to gain a good online friendship :). 

When my son was in his last stay at hospital it was a disaster. I will never do it to him  or myself again. Unfortunately there are no hospitals which fit him due to his specific problems ... I know he is not alone in this I am sure many people with Autism Spectrum Disorder are in the same place but still ... It is good your son is in there voluntarily he can get the help he needs and then go.  As you say you don't want him institutionalized.

Hi @PeppiPatty always good to see your face pop up :). Hope you are taking good care of yourself and have a great weekend won't you. greenpea

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Dadcaringalone

I don’t have much time atm but my husband diagnosed schizophrenia 1989. 

When Mr Buddha ( husband ) came back to me when I put restraining order on him : he apologised and said ‘ all that time community orders; jail time, self medicating, he has to get through it because he needed to accept that he has a mental illness. 

[Dadcaringalone]

@PeppiPatty

Thanks for sharing PeppiPatty.

Its very hard to accept these type of things for all parties. Glad Mr Buddha has accepted it. My brother (who is 47) is still a violent alcholic (self medicating) enabled by my mum. I got assulted by him when my father was in rehab recovering from a major heart attack, surgery and a super bug. I put a restraining order on him and was totally ostracized by my family. He then got violent again towards my son when he was psychotic which brought on my son’s first major episode. My dad’s sister had manic depression as bipolar used to be called, and he still says, she’s mad I can’t deal with her and we hardly saw that side of the family as we grew up. My wife’s in complete denial, she wants my son off his meds and to try holistic healing. She started screaming at a psychiatrist on a recent hospital visit. I can’t use words like manic, schizophrenia, schizo affective around her. She screams at my son which makes it worse while I sit there meditating (like George’s father in Seinfeld “Serenity Now”) to be the only one staying calm. When I told my mum that my son, her grandson has schizo affective disorder, she got angry with me and said she always thought I was a bit schizo! Family, you can’t live with them, you can’t live without them! Many of the family watched the recent ABC’s You Can’t Ask That schizophrenia and are finally starting to get their head around it.

[PeppiPatty]

This is atrocious @Dadcaringalone I'm so sorry that you have such an unhelpful family.

Lately, I've been thinking..... My little narcissistic bit  ...... Why aren't I on Australian Story ? 

20 years of Psychanalysis, university degrees, major head injury at 16 years old ; terrible mother. But my sons are managing their lives. Why can't anyone see what I've sacrificed ? 

no no one would care. People would not be interested. And anyway, seriously,

My perfect partner Mr Buddha could'nt go on Tv and neither could I. I was was totally ostriches by my mother in law and mum when I put restraining order on mr Buddha but no one will praise me when he quit all self medicating and smoking cigarettes. He's cut down from 50 cigarettes to one cigar per day. From bottles and bottles of whiskey to 2 drinks per month. 

That channel 2 show is amazing. Yesterday I saw an amazing Australian Story on channel 24 about a Psychology University Professour who went to Southern Cross University and got his PH.D. Under some pretty hard life challenges. I'll find the name of it. 

[PeppiPatty]

Content/trigger warning

This is atrocious @Dadcaringalone I'm so sorry that you have such an unhelpful family.

Lately, I've been thinking..... My little narcissistic bit  ...... Why aren't I on Australian Story ? 

20 years of Psychanalysis, university degrees, major head injury at 16 years old ; terrible mother. But my sons are managing their lives. Why can't anyone see what I've sacrificed ? 

no no one would care. People would not be interested. And anyway, seriously,

My perfect partner Mr Buddha could'nt go on Tv and neither could I. I was was totally ostriches by my mother in law and mum when I put restraining order on mr Buddha but no one will praise me when he quit all self medicating and smoking cigarettes. He's cut down from 50 cigarettes to one cigar per day. From bottles and bottles of whiskey to 2 drinks per month. 

That channel 2 show is amazing. Yesterday I saw an amazing Australian Story on channel 24 about a Psychology University Professour who went to Southern Cross University and got his PH.D. Under some pretty hard life challenges. I'll find the name of it. 

[Libra]

@PeppiPatty,

Hi, I understand about the family "stuff". I feel my son's older brother and sister are not comfortable with their brother being diagnosed with schizophrenia.  My partner sometimes says...he just needs to grow some balls...(yeah, easy as that!). So I sometimes feel like it's my son and I against the world.

His father died in 2004 and his grandparent have passed also. My sister is very comfortable with it and supports us both. (always saying, he's my favourite nephew).

AND I too also say "serenity now!" lol. I picture George's father and I laugh, it breaks a bad moment...thanks for giving me a little chuckle right now.

Take care, Libra xoxo

[PeppiPatty]

Dear @Libra @Dadcaringalone

Amazing news 

mr Buddha is saying he’s booking himself into hospital ....  yippee !! I’ll write again in 2 hours