This part of your post struck me the most @Judi9877 : Why does the media shun away from talking about suicide or mentioning it for what it is - a cry for help?
With respect - to state it is simply and always a cry for help is in my opinion a dangerous and untrue statement. Not everyone that has SI or attempts suicide is wanting help - sometimes it is simply what it is - the desire, the need, the want to end one's life. I can honestly say that every attempt I have made - although unsuccessful - was 100% because I did not want to live this life anymore. For me, it was not about others and no amount of talking or support would have changed my mind at the time. When one is in that deep darkness and everything in life seems insummountable often ending it feels like the only option. From a personal point of view - no amount of talking, counselling, or intervention from others had any effect when I made the decision to end my life - it was planned, calculated and what I wanted. I did not tell anyone nor did I present as being in danger - quite the opposite infact in most cases - was lucid, aware and very much putting on the 'coping' mask so I would not be stopped. The question may now be asked 'but aren't you glad now that you weren't successful' and honestly the answer would be NO. That does not mean I am in the same place as I once was nor that I don't value what I do have now but there are many, many days that being alive is so painful that I simply cannot cope. I am nowhere near the place I was all those times I attempted suicide but if I was not still here then I would also not be feeling the constant pain and struglgling each day to get through. Presently I am not in a very good place and those thoughts enter my mind more than they should but considering suicide is only a passing thought. My life is very different now than it was but that does not mean it is any easier ...and working every day to keep those thoughts and desires at bay is very much a constant and difficult struggle. I still wish so often that I would sleep and not wake up and whilst I know there would be people that would 'miss me' I also know my pain would be over. I know that many would say 'think of others and the effect that your death would have on them' but quite honestly if you are living for others then you are not living for yourself and that is a very sad, lonely and difficult place to be. It may seem selfish to some to be thinking about oneself but I believe the choice also needs to be ours - and if the world we are living in is not one we want to be in, if the pain is too great and we do not want to keep enduring it, if we are simply existing and not 'living' then I believe sometimes the ultimate end is what is best for us. I know so many people that have attempted suicide and lived through it are grateful that they were not successful and go on to live a much better and fuller life - but I for one am not one of them. This does not mean that there is not a way forward for others - in-fact quite the opposite - with help, support, early intervention and hope going forward many can recover from these difficult times and find that life worth living. This topic does need to be much wider discussed and all sides heard however to recognise what a complicated topic it is. SI and suicide are not always merely 'a cry for help' - it is often much deeper and much more complicated than that - and I believe only when that depth of understanding can come from all sides can we truly begin to reach an understanding and insight into the extensive breadth and depth of the issue.
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