Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Smc]

Thanks @Former-Member...

Daughter's still stable-ish for now. She had another nighttime hospital presentation the night we came home from the parents' place, not SH this time, but one of her mysteriously untraceable physical problems. She had pain and difficulty urinating that suggested a possible UTI that had gone to the kidneys, so they put her into a short stay bed. Tests showed no infection, so the somewhat mystified doctors discharged her middle of the next day. I very much suspect that a lot of her medical problems are psychological in origin, because with so many of them she reports symptoms, but tests come back all clear. The pain is quite possibly real, but the source doesn't seem to be physical. So far, investigations have discovered that her back, carpal tunnels, bowel, reproductive system and now urinary tract are all very healthy, despite her reports of pain sometimes reaching high levels. (She has rated it as 10/10 at times.)

She came along to my birthday lunch with the rest of the family last Saturday, but said that she was in pain during it. At least she was there. She doesn't always manage it.

Went out on Monday with the town garden club to some open gardens in a nearby larger town. That was enjoyable. My sleep's a bit patchy at the moment, am trying to "self care". 🙂 But both Hubby and I are constantly tired, and keep dropping further behind in work and housework. Sooo frustrating.

[Smc]

Another SH hospital trip last night. She rang as we were getting in to bed; went in on her own by ambulance, taxi home...

She's talking about going in to the private clinic again. Her psychiatrist (who the local mental health team have decided they're OK with her seeing....yay...) has suggested medication changes to try and help with her every-night nightmares. I'm wilting at the thought of all the extra travel for us- admission, visits and discharge.

Also, when she moved out of home, I dropped out of the local carer support group. Am thinking we should reconnect with them.

[Determined]

Hugs @Smc, feeling for you... 

The thought of having to launch into that sort of travel routine with a hospital stay again makes my head hurt so in some way understand your feeling of wilting 😕

I know I could not do it if darling had another stay away. 

Praying that your daughter can find some peace and calm and get past this. And for all of your family for strength to get through. 

[Smc]

Found this snippet in an ABC online news story today. Matches up with what we think we've been seeing.

"People who use painkillers for non-medical reasons redefine pain according to colloquial uses of the word. They often justify their use as being a form of self-medication for legitimate conditions such as depression, anxiety and stress.

This expansion of pain to include social and emotional suffering seems to be confirmed by the science. A growing body of research has found the neurological pathways associated with physical pain also "light up" when exposed to social and emotional forms of suffering."

Full article. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-11-08/painkillers-for-emotional-relief-anti-depressants-depression/...

[Smc]

Thanks @Determined.

It's kind of made more difficult because it's come up close to Christmas time. We've got a few end of year catchups that we really want to be at, and I'd love to get our chaotic house into a more orderly and cheerful state so that we've got the option of invivting friends in, and so that it's just generally a more relaxing place to be. I don't know how far I'll get with that if we have this extra load.

I know she finds life so hard, but it's hard for us too. Somehow have to find the balance??

[Determined]

I believe we witnessed this with one of my siblings a while back @Smc,

All sorts of ailments that could not be diagnosed, including requiring the use of a walking aid for some years (for a person in their 20s). I always suspected it was more psychological than physical, and not doubting that there was actually physical pain. It makes a lot of sense to me. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Psychosomatic @Determined .... my D3 too .... not with a walking aid, but confined to bed at times with miscellaneous abdominal pain or 3-day migraines.

[Smc]

And trying to work out that fine line between psychosomatic pain and attention seeking via medical "conditions"... Oooh it's hard!

[Determined]

Is it harder or easier that daughter does not actually live at home @Smc? 

Hope its ok to ask that, wont be offended if you don't answer. 

I know when my mum was going through a rough time after dad died I wished she was not so far away (about 20min drive out of town) but I dont think I could have survived having her live with us either. (No disrespect intended to my mum).  Not knowing how she was going throughout the day though was hard at the time between meltdown phone calls. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Feeling for you so much @Smc.  The DID must make it so very much more difficult.  You come to mind any time my D3 is struggling.  I know we all have our own difficulties, but some are compounded.  Wishing you ongoing courage and strength, forum sister .....