Lived Experience Forum

[Rob33]

When I’m feeling that things aren’t ok… I often blame my relationship and what I’m not getting from it. But then I think, is it me and my BPD that is causing the issue. How do I seperate the two? 

[Jenny11]

Hello,

Each day is a new day.

There are 2 of you in the relationship.

I have found that by having a daily program of self love, self care and gratitude it sets me up for the day.

This allows me to see where my head and body are at and where I may need to communicate to my partner that I need a bit of space or that am on edge and may explode so bear with me.

A focus on the spiritual journey allows for my connection to something bigger than me and any disorder or disease.

Focus on what you can do.

Focus on gratitude what your partner does for you that you like and let them know and you'll get more of it.

Thank you 

Thank you Thank you 

[Jynx]

Hey @Jenny11 and @Rob33 welcome! 

Just thought you'd like to know that if you want another member to be notified of your response, you can use the @ symbol to see a drop down menu to select their name (or type it out). 

You can find some more tips & tricks here. 

I think @Jenny11 is on the money with the reminder that it does take two to tango, and if it feels like you're not getting your needs met in the relationship it's worth a conversation. And through this, it could be a chance to explore whether there is some internal stuff at play too. 

[BPDSurvivor]

I getcha @Rob33 . I had the same issue as a borderline. At first I blamed everyone else until I separated from everyone I knew, moved towns to a place where I no one knew me.

i thought, ‘super! That’s my answer!’

 however, not long after, the same destructive patterns happened… and I (only I) was the common denominator…

only then did I realise I needed help.

 The fact that you are reflecting on your life now in the way you have, makes you so much further than what I was. Good on you.