Lived Experience Forum

[HanLost]

Hello, I am new here. Just thinking of sharing my situation here. Im a struggling internatonal uni student. I just come to study in Australia because there is opportunity to do so which is rare among relatives. I been struggling with my studies. I often lose my motivation to study. if I was studying, I often doing it alone because i am not confident with my communication skill. It is hard for me to share this with my close friends because they are not taking the same course as me and their view and perspective is really different from mine. They have big goals ( like buying sport cars or something similar) and desire (vacation and travelling etc) while my goal is simple, which is to live happily and enjoy a calm life. It is not because I hate going out or anything because i do enjoy going out whether with friends or alone. I am pretty much a minimalist. Strolling around the park while watching the trees and the sky was enough for me to feel fulfilled. People around me (relatives and friends) always have high expectation on me because I was often a student with good performance. I always hate all the expectation that they have pushed on me. However, since i came here, my grades was dropping, lower than average most of the time.

I know i have to study hard to get good grade but i dont have the motivation to do so. It is more like i hesitated to start studying. I can keep studying once i started but it is hard for me to initiate it. Then, i found myself procrastine until the last minute. I don't know what is wrong with me. Am i just lazy? or am I sick like depressed or something? Im so sorry for the long message. Any replies and helps are very much appreciated. Thank you.

[Dimity]

Hello @HanLost and welcome. We can't diagnose you - you'd need to see a doctor or psychologist for that - but you sound a bit depressed. Wanting to live happily and enjoy a calm life sounds good to me.

Have you connected much with other students doing the same course? If you're attending lectures and tutorials there might be a chance to socialise in breaks. Or maybe you could seek out social or sporting clubs at your university or college.

Leaving assessment tasks until just before the deadline isn't good for your marks or your anxiety. Are you also trying to work at a job casually or part-time, or could you try to establish a regular study routine?

Most of all I hope you enjoy your time here and feel it's worthwhile. It's an opportunity to step outside your comfort zone and face new challenges and make new friends if that's what you choose to do. 

Best wishes, and good luck.

Dimity.

[starpanda]

fellow uni student here,

I can definitely relate to the difficulties of motivation to study, especially when there has been a limited number of relatives able to make it to uni, as an external factor, is always in your mind.

Living a calm and happy life is an amazing goal, it may seem like everyone is chasing money, cars etc., but the quiet, content life, is a lot more common for a lot of folks.

I don't believe there is anything 'wrong' with you. It could be many different aspects of your life, all colliding at once.

Keep trying your best (without pushing yourself past your limit), you deserve kindness, especially from yourself.

I would reccomend reaching out to your local doctor, support is always available.

Stay safe, 

Starpanda

[Flotsam]

@HanLost 

It must be really hard to move so far away from everything you know. There are a few indigenous writers telling about the wisdom of living simply and in harmony with the earth. Braiding Sweetgrass is great, and Bruce Pascoe writes about indigenous Australians. 

There can be lots of reasons people procrastinate, ADHD, depression, spiritual awakenings, changing their mind about what they want. When I first went to Uni I hated it, hated the course, the social life was fun but I just couldn’t get into the courses. I stopped studying that course and worked for a few years, I went back to study something much more interesting to me and it was still hard but much much easier. 

For me when I have big decisions to make or I need to find resolve, I find somewhere quiet, near water works for me, a beach or river and I listen to what my heart really wants. This is your life to live, so you need to follow your own path.

I hope you find some way forward soon. 

[MissMuffet]

Hi @HanLost 

I had a very similar experience when I went to uni (except I'm not international) but studying was hard and expectation made it even more difficult. It turns out I did have depression. Do you think you might be homesick?

I encourage you to look into seeing if there is a student wellbeing service at your uni. Often there are counsellors you can talk to and they can help connect you up with other services that might be helpful.

As for you marks, have you considered going to any "PASS" classes? These are Peer Assisted study sessions for subjects. It's like a group study session with other students run by someone who took the class the year before. 

And there is nothing wrong with enjoying the simple things in life. Maybe you could take your study to the park? That way you can enjoy the outdoors and get some work done too.