My son (24) has schizophrenia

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Libra

Maybe there is a way you can tell the MH team by phone.  My son also preps me for sessions. (My son has an autism presentation and is not interested in drugs.)

Just a thought, Your relationship with your son is PRIMARY.  That he told you he used ice, is a sign of his good relationship with you.  Be careful how you tell the doctors. I would not jeopardise his trust. It is wise they know because of dosages and interactions, but turning it into a shaming session might be counterproductive.

With the level of his paranoia and delusions, it is much more serious than a boy being naughty and deliberately getting drugs.

He is in pain and there is some relief/ even if temporary and longer term damage possible.

It may have been his last dabble with it.

I would work on his trust with you, more than a punitive approach.  Work with any past interests/strengths your son has that may help him break out of the delusionary states and bad habits. Maybe something new.

It is very difficult for you both. My heart goes out to you. Best wishes.

Apple

[Dadcaringalone]

My Dearest @Libra

Thats a horrible situation that you are currently experiencing. I don’t know enough about your son to give you advice and I am reluctant to because I don’t understand the full situation and dynamics between you and your son. What I would say though is if he is using then this will severely impact on the chemical imbalance of his mind and if it was me then I would delicately make his doctors aware of it. My son often doesn’t want me to talk too much during the sessions we have weekly with the hospital but then call them up later. I am currently experiencing something similar with my son who feels the antidepressants he’s taking don’t improve his moods, but I’ve seen him when he doesn’t take them. Its a delicate balance but the main thing you need to do is stay firm and remember that you can see the beauty of your son separate to the disease. That’s what has helped me get through some of the really hard times. I send you a virtual hug 🤗 to help you stay strong and keep truck’n

xxxooo  

[Dadcaringalone]

Hi there @greenpea

Sorry I’ve been out of contact recently but we have been pretty busy. My son is stabilizing to a degree but things are still pretty volatile on certain days but I’m getting stronger from an emotional point of view. It’s much better since my daughter moved interstate and now I am only caring for my son which has freed my time up substantially. Trying to find some ”me” time to do things which I enjoy for a change and get outside and be with nature as the weather starts to improve.

Whats going on with you? I find I get great strength from hearing from others going through similar struggles, it makes me feel like I’m not all alone in my son’s own reality!

take care and xxxoooo

[greenpea]

@Dadcaringalone Hi Dadcaringalone great to hear from you and is wonderful that your son is stabilizing and that you are getting much needed time to yourself since your daughter has moved out.  More 'me time' is definately what is needed for carers, there is never enough time to destress.

My son is as crazy as ever lol 🙂 he talks about all sorts of entities which have cords attached to his back from which they control him. He tries to cut the cord but they always connect it again when things are rough. He is a funny guy though and makes me laugh at times which is wonderful, I grab hold of those moments as they can be few and far between. 

I am currently doing a mindfullness course which is really exhausting ... I am not enjoying it to be honest as it is getting me out of my comfort zone ... I really don't want to go but I know it will do me good. I cannot keep going on like this. I have to take steps to move forward. Anyway I will let you know how that all goes.

Keep in touch when you can. gp xxxxoooo

[Dadcaringalone]

Dear @greenpea

I wish you some pea’ce! My son is also pretty volatile and not speaking with me at present. He’s delusionally trying to force himself back quickly  to some romantic idea of normality he has in his mind. This I believe means reentering normal society like everyone else and living a normal life with job etc like the mainstream. He however is not able to maintain things for long until he flips out with someone at uni or someone who annoys him on the street. I just need a rest from him now and then to retain my own sanity if I have any left. His technology obsession is driving me absolutely crazy, he does nothing in small doses and when I say anything I’m wrong for stopping him trying to get back to normality!

Sounds like you are having your own challenges with cords! Are they physical cords he sees or more of a psychological cord holding him down?

Its a pity your mindfulness course is a bit of a slog at the moment. I am also having difficulty maintaining my mindfulness at present. For me it doesn’t really work if its being forced. 

Take care and please feel free to drop me a virtual bell anytime and I will try my best to get back to you as soon as I can.

Its a nice relief and bit of pea’ce from the daily struggles we face.

xxxxoooo

[greenpea]

 @Dadcaringalone Hi Dadcaringalone Sorry that misunderstood your post re son. I was hoping maybe things had calmed down for you. For my son he feels physical cords inserted into his back which he tries desperately to cut or pull out. These cords are used to control him (so he says) by the evil entities which talk to him.

I understand perfectly about the obsession part my son's room drives me crazy. Everytime I look at it with the things he has accumulated to make his 'fantastical machines' it makes me so depressed. I can feel my heart sinking ... so I can really, really relate to your feelins of frustration and feelings that you are going crazy.

Thanks for your kind words the pea really appreciate's it and wishing you the same.

Have a pea'cefull day.gp xxxxooo

Yes the mindfullness course is bringing up so many old wounds which I thought were covered and yet now they are being brought to the surface all raw and nasty. I haven't dealt with my issues at all I have just covered over them. It will be a long time before I will be able to.

[Dadcaringalone]

@greenpeaYou didn’t misunderstand greenpea, I am fairly strong with letting my son get to me with all his antics I have described to you in detail. I am at the stage now where I just go with the flow and don’t try to change his behavior but I try to change how I deal with it and how I think about it because the more I think about it the more suffering that causes. I am also firm and make sure I don’t just passively give-in to everything at the expense of my own mental health.

Is your son medication compliant? Because what you are describing here with cords etc sounds like Hallucinations to me from my past experience with my son. Before my son was recently admitted he was still taking his medication and his symptoms just came back. Not sure what is the case with your son. It’s a vicious cycle of ups and downs and we can only really manage how we feel about what’s taking place with our sons.

Its a pity that your mindfulness course is bringing up all these prepressed memories. True mindfulness from my experiences should help you live in the present moment and not focus on the past or the future. When things get really tough I simply just focus on my bodily sensations for as long as possible as this takes me away from all of what I have described because that’s all about thinking and the longer I can observe feeling the longer I can cut suffering from its root cause.

I feel like you are doing a really good job coping greenpea! Please give yourself some attention and do what you want for yourself for a change. Last night I went to see a movie which I wanted for a change because I was sick of just complying with my son’s wishes and doing what he wants! He was upset and almost walked out halfway because it wasn’t his type of movie but it showed him that he can’t just be spoilt all the time and get what he wants. That’s all for now.

Stay strong and keep truck’n

xxxxoooo  

[greenpea]

@Dadcaringalone Good morning Dadcaringalone yes my son is medication compliant which is a relief I cannot imagine what it is like for those with children who refuse their medication.

Mindfullness course went a bit better today. I have realised that I have alot of baggage that I have to get off my back. Painful stuff from the past that I need to deal with. Cannot run from it any more.

Thank you for your positive posts. They are always uplifting :). Have a love weekend.

ps: You didn't tell us what film you saw and if it was any good 🙂 gp xxxxoooo

[Dadcaringalone]

Dear @greenpea

Thanks for yours. It’s a long road even though they are medication compliant and sometimes the meds on mask the symptoms to a degree. My son’s recent long hospital visit was because the medication he was initially given started to not hold back the hallucinations anymore especially under times of distress. The new medication he’s taking seems to work much better at stopping command hallucinations but he’s still pretty moody.

Glad you enjoyed the last day of your mindfulness course and now you understand you need to deal with some of your demons.

The movie we saw was Equalizer 2 but it wasn’t my son’s cup of tea because I think he thought it was a bit slow for him and Denzel Washington is not from his generation. Hope you have some sunshine wherever you are.

xxxooo

[PeppiPatty]

Jepers... great posts... 

I am struck by the strength of these posts ( of course @Appleblossom )

@Dadcaringalone @Barbara @greenpea @Libra

I think GP would know that I have written you know : all these Doctors, mental health people, police, Hospitals, Nurses ETC :

You know your children the best.