Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️ @Determined .....,

Feeling the same way right now 😔

[Determined]

@Faith-and-Hope 

❤🙏

[Determined]

[Determined]

Have a meeting with S1 school later this week.

I really don't know if I have the strength.

I would rather just pull him out for the rest of the year. Only  2 weeks to go.

he wants to go for no other reason than it will irritate the teacher having him in her room. Real mature and helpful.

Darling 1.step closer to another breakdown and she.is not even the one managing it. Other than demand I take action and sort the teacher out. 

😒😪🥺😵

[Determined]

@Faith-and-Hope 

Not quite sure where to conect with you now outside of social threads so just checking in here.

Thinking of you and your journey despite in many ways being lost in my own.

Trust you can continue to find the strength to do what needs to be done and the kiddos are managing the best thy can ❤🙏

[Faith-and-Hope]

Thanks @Determined.  Legal proceedings with an NPD are the worst ..... just have to swim, float, swim, float ...... and get through it - me and the kids.  Art studies are sanity-preserving in the face of all his cruelty.

Hugs n hugs for what you are going through too ❣️

[Determined]

Hugs back @Faith-and-Hope  ❤🙏

[Determined]

Meeting with school went well this morning went well, I was happy anyway.

Well I called darling to give her the good news, (she really should have been there but it was better that she was not).

Well she lost it and is not at all happy with the outcome. Because there is some effort in attitude building required on our part. And rules around acceptable uniform policy. 

I have always tried to convince myself that the children would adapt despite the emotional disregulation in our home.

This is an example of how letting things slide to avoid conflict is eroding our children's ability to conform to reasonable societal expectations. And consequently succeed in life.

Don't know what the answer to this is.

For me leaving is not an option despite being told by medical 'professionals' that it may be better for the children.

While recognising a genuine illness as the route cause this controlling behaviour has been documented by and called out as a form of domestic violence by psychologists and GP 🥺

After 22 years I am coming to the conclusion maybe they have been right all along and that is hard to process and accept 😢

Starting to work through some of these emotions with a trusted friend and mentor. 

Feeling drained.

Finding it hard to discuss the challenges with anyone because I don't like dumping on my wife and 'whinging' about her / her behaviours. But then again that is in part why we have arrived at where we are. Because for 22 years I have let her get away with it to keep the peace and find her acceptance. 😌 

[Former-Member]

Hi @Determined, that sounds like so much to be coming to terms with 

I'm glad to hear you have a trusted friend and metor you can speak to about these emotions. In my experience, I've found that having space to freely think and feel was incredibly valuable for my own processing and ability to decide what I wanted to do next. I hope that you can have all the space you need work through these emotions. 

You deserve good things  We all do

If you'd like any more options of supportive people to talk to, 1800 RESEPCT provide relationship support, Listening Ear provide non-judgemental support for anything, and there's also SANE counselling and peer support

Take care 🌻

[Determined]

Thanks @Former-Member