Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

[BPDSurvivor]

Ooooo @Determined ,

Youve got a lot on your plate. I hear how difficult things are.

I know BPD has a strong head in this crisis. Over the years, have you seen your wife improve? Does she have regular appointments with a psychologist?

No need to answer if you're not comfortable doing so. I've followed parts of your journey as a carer for someone with BPD, but I don't know enough to offer suggestions that have worked for me.

On behalf of people with BPD, thank you for sticking it out even when it is sooooo tough. I am saying this because to this day, I am eternally grateful for the people who did not give up on me even during my lowest times.

I will spend time reading through this thread to gain a deeper insight. Hugs. My thoughts are with you.

BPDSurvivor

Thanks for the tag mum @Shaz51 !

[Determined]

@BPDSurvivor  thank you for.taking the time to reply.

Darling is not currently seeing anyone. Psychiatrist decided she was doing ok and didn't need him (GP is taking care of scripts). She does have an appointment for Psychiatrist next month for new scripts that gp can't prescribe long term but I'm not sure she has bothered to get a referral for that despite me making an appointment for her. She refuses to see a psychologist due to the $.  And the only one who has ever been any good for her is over an hour drive away. 

The last year or two have been relatively stable (I say relatively because it is our version of ok compared to where we have come from). I can see us loosing ground however with some pre crisis traits creeping back in 🥺  

Possibly because at the end of this year I will be back on the job hunt and change is not good in our world. And she is over identifying with S2 and his school issues.

(She is not helping with his school issues)

[Determined]

Some good news this week.

Finally got test results I have been anxious about and have been given all clear. Yea! 

Had some scans done with biopsy taken and told after waking from anaesthetic to make an appointment to see my gp asap. Every other time have been told nothing to worry about, carry on as usual. So created a bit of anxiety but all is as well as it can be. Go back in 3 years and do it all again. 

[Determined]

Still on thin ice with Darling and S2 though 😕 

[Shaz51]

Ohh that is good news for you @Determined 

Thinking of your darling and S2 ❤❤

@Smc , @Faith-and-Hope , @BPDSurvivor ,

[BPDSurvivor]

Awww @Determined . I'm sorry to hear. It can be so hard.

Is there some way I can support you (as someone who has been diagnosed with BPD)?

[Determined]

Thank you for your kind message @BPDSurvivor 

That is a really hard question to answer. 

Sometimes just being able to acknowledge that everything is not OK takes a load off.

For us I have found healthy boundaries is what works best but I don't always have the emotional capacity to follow through on these 🥺

[BPDSurvivor]

That's true @Determined . It can emotionally draining for everyone.

We need more people like you in the world who can see through the BPD to find the real person. 

I admire your strength, patience and resilience. 

Hugs, BPDSurvivor

[Determined]

So S1 decided to join the dysfunction party this afternoon. (Darling and S2 have had us walking on thin ice for a while now)

He had a run in with his teacher and decided he was not going back to school and talking about permanent solutions to temporary a temporary problem. 

Darling is all worked up and insisting I contact the principal for a meeting to sort the teacher. 

To be fair, while the teacher is waaaay out of line, S1 is not making it easy for me to back him up.

Started with attitude when I tried working through solutions with him. When that didn't word resorted to tears and threats of self harm.

May sound harsh but in many ways that is little more than emotional blackmail. But who can blame him... it seems to be working for his mother and brother.

Rant over 😵☹

Going to draft an email to the principal and get a trusted friend to vet it for me before sending it tomorrow. 

[Determined]