Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

[Former-Member]

@Determined

I am not quite sure what to say, thinking aloud a bit here too... 

Certainly doing what we can to protect our own mental health and build resilience makes sense. 

In relation to the matter of parental responsibility, I would ask for clarification if something does not sound right Bro,  perhaps as @Smc suggested the oxygen mask.

I did find this page on parenting that does touch on looking after you.

https://www.cyh.com/HealthTopics/HealthTopicDetails.aspx?p=114&np=99&id=1684

[soul]

@Determined - I can understand your wanting to take care of your family. It's a natural instinct. But yeah - as others have said - it's important to take care of yourself as well. You would be doing your wife and kids and the extended folk no good if you were to collapse in a heap.

Trying times for you. Wishing you strength and that the road isn't too difficult to navigate. One step in front of the other.

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️ @Determined .....

[Determined]

Thanks everyone, your  thoughts are much appreciated.   I think the biggest thing is preperation. Prepare for the worst hope for the best.

Logically I can see what I need to do. Emotionally it goes against my nature.

Hence getting in early with the councilling to have supports in place for myself and family.

Part of me feels like I am being overly dramatic thinking about of all this now but I fear that if I dont address some of things now I may not have the capacity to later.

So part of the 'thinking out loud' is a way to process it. It makes more sense when I have had a chance to talk out my thoughts and feelings.  Also (for me) the first and an essential step for me to be able to seek and accept help. Without this I realy dont know what I need help with 😕

Realy don't want to weigh others down with my burdens (I know I am not alone in having challenges) but appreciate being able to talk out my worries. 

[Determined]

Added note

Realy like smc's analogy of the oxygen mask. Makes a lot of sense. 

[Determined]

Feeling a little better here after a very lazy day.

Slept in until 10am. And then only got up as S2 had an appointment I needed to take him to.  Bike (peddle power) ride this ave was good to clear the head. Another planned for the morning and hoping to get out on the motorbike with mum tomorrow ave for a longer ride.  

[Determined]

We managed the early morning bike ride this morning and I got in just under 100km on the motorbike this afternoon. While dont mind mums company it will be great when I am not dependent on her supervision. (On my L plates until Feb next year). 

Will also make it easier for mum when we can just meet up rather than mum having to come via our house. 

Was a blast, wish it has not taken me so long to make the effort to get my licence. 

[Former-Member]

Checking in @Determined

[Determined]

Steady at the moment @Former-Member

[soul]

Hope this is you @Determined