Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

[Former-Member]

Emotions high all round doesn't make it easy Bro ...  sending extra prayers up for you @Determined.  Do you think your Darling would be amenable to having a chat with a cancer support person (rather than MI specific)?  They might be able to give you some tips re: S1.

[Determined]

Have a carer qld support group meeting next week @Former-Member. It may be worth having a chat to the facilitator re thoughts on that.  I'm not sure how darling would respond? Maybe if I have all of the info at hand for her? Darling realy does need to talk to someone but she needs to want to. 

[Former-Member]

Asking at carer support might be worthwhile @Determined. Don't want to add to your burden Bro. We can only suggest...

[Determined]

MIL was transferred to a different hospital 1hr down the road so she can be closer to oncologist. This means we won't get to see her as often 😕  Despite this darling seems more settled this afternoon. I feel bad but I often feel anxious when she is this nice to me as I let my guard down and it burns more when the inevitable melt down and attack comes. Worried about FIL as he plans to drive down and visit daily and won't hear of anyone going with him as driving support.

A little bit of insight (for me) as to why everyone was flipping out when I was driving over an hour each way to see darling daily when she was away lol.

[Determined]

I have been in a bit if a black hole recently. Trying hard to keep active and occupied but little things like being out in the garden that I was starting to realy enjoy are becoming a chore :face_with_rolling_eyes:

Hoping that because I am aware of this I may be able to consciously do something about it. 

[Former-Member]

@Determined  Feeling connected (a sense of belonging) having a purpose (in giving), spirituality (faith) and telling your story are the things that bring meaning to our lives. 

You had a huge burst of energy and got a heap done in the garden. I recall you saying you could not wait for MIL to see the progress - perhaps part of the enjoyment was the purpose in giving your MIL some pleasure from seeing things tidied up somewhat.

I don't think gardening featured in your goals list which might be a bit more reflective of the things that are important to you.

You might find attending the photography club more rewarding being a 'non essential' as opposed to gardening which for you might be better described as necessary upkeep to maintain your property. 

[Determined]

LoL @Former-Member

The biggest hurdle with photography club is that = meeting new people. 

[Determined]

The gardening was actually a surprise/ bonus enjoyment 😁 started out because it had to be done and it really gave me a buzz. 

[Former-Member]

Are either of the older boys interested in photography @Determined ... perhaps they could go with you. 

[Determined]

@Former-Member they would possibly like that idea but it would make it impossible to interact with other adults. Maybe once I am out there and find my feet.