Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

[Smc]

@Determined, is there anything on the list that might both be beneficial (or at least neutral and pleasant) for him that could double as a respite opportunity for you, or emotional support for him? E.g. is there funding for extracurricular activites that don't require you to be in attendance? Maybe ones that go for long enough for you and your Darling to stop for a cuppa? After all, if you're in a better state of mind, you'll be of greater benefit to him.

[Determined]

That is what we were really hoping for @Smc  but not on the list of approved activities or services. I specifically asked this question at this latest meeting and at the intake interview as these are the activities that would help him to enable the goals of independence. It seems that most activities will require my attendence 

It is up to us as the end user to resarch what services meet the criteria. All we have is vague goals with no suggestions on how to achieve these goals.  

[Smc]

Am guessing it wouldn't be appropriate for us to brainstorm on any of the vague goals?

[Determined]

Given that it is non identifying and not around specific medical treatment we could try

@Former-Member  please advise if this is to appropiate and apoligies. 

Most of this is stuff we already work on and wound be ideal for a youth support worker or for group sporting activities but this aparently does not count. Even have a youth support worker assist with intergration with group sport activities and we would be happy to pay for the activity as this is not something we have the capacity to do 😞

I have added as a screen shot so a mod can review for suitability prior to release.

Hopfully pics wont take too long. 

[Determined]

That is the easiest part to read anyway.

The stupid part is we are not suposed to share this with a service provider?  Not even to ask this is what we are funded for can / how can you help us meet these goals. 

Going to have to try get some rest now as early start tomorrow. 

[Smc]

Am wondering if it's the choice of wording that gets in the way of sporting activities being covered. Sports generally involve gross motor skills, not fine, and although a socially healthy sports team is great as a way of "building social inclusion... and making friends" it's not the main purpose/stated goal of the group. And socially unhealty sports teams exist too- how can the provider be sure your son's team is a good one?

If they use funds towards an activity that is deemed not to fulfil the support goals, they can end up being penalised.

So providers will be trying to cover their backs and make sure they cross the t's and dot the i's, not vice versa.
Maybe one way around that could be to ask for a support worker's oversight of your son's participation in community social groups, including but not limited to sporting groups?

Are there scouting or similar groups in your region? They might come closer to meeting the "social inclusion/making friends" criteria, as they've always had a function as a youth community service group.

Does your son have any interest in an art or craft activity? Or lego, meccano, ??? Those should meet the "fine motor skills development" criteria, and if it's done as a group, the "social inclusion etc" bit. The way it's worded sounds very much like it's geared towards individual occupational therapy, but you might get a window in if a therapist was willing to recommend participation in the local pottery/meccano/kids' art attack group as a way of honing his fine motor skills in a community setting...

The "decision making, daily planning and budgeting" bit sounds like it might be a standard clause included in most or all plans. If so, in practice, they'll need to adjust "delivery" to take account of his age and abilities. There's only so much budgeting you can teach when you're working with pocket money.

[Former-Member]

@Determined 

Dropping off a casserole for your clan.

[Determined]

Yum @Former-Member  thanks for that 

We actually just finished something lookimg similar to that except I layered the top with cornchips and cheese. No complainants except S2 picked out all the peas lol. 

[Shaz51]

yummmmmmmm @Former-Member 

Hugs @Determined 

Hello @Smc , @Janiee , @Faith-and-Hope 

[Determined]

@Smc I agree with what you are saying. 

We have tried the OT path previously but that was not particularly successful.

I will have to contact a couple of providers on the approved list to discuss our options and what they interpret is covered. I am also hoping the school can provide some guidance based on teaching staff interactions with him. 

I am not interested in using funding just because it is there if I can't see any benefit as that is not sustainable. 

What would be of most benefit would be the option for a case worker to assess and guide us even if that had to come from the funding allocated. 

Early days yet, just have to see where it all leads us.