Hey everyone,
I have posted before about my Nightmares I have chronic nightmare, due to CPTSD sometimes they feel very linked to my life and sometimes they're just weird.
I've had a difficult couple months of loss in the family, hospital stays that were long and some health stuff that was just draining.
My nightmare started off mundane I was just trying to clean a microwave in a family members house whilst on holiday slowly I was beginning to be micromanaged by one person then another more and more from passive then to passive aggressive then just yelling. All the while I stated I know how to do these things, I stayed, I know how to do this, I stayed, I yelled I'm not a child I'm full grown adult leave me in peace, I stayed.
I woke up
I spent Christmas for the first time this year cut off from someone I love dearly in my family, but has brought me a lot pain they were in the dream.
I wake up slowly and it takes me awhile to remember these dreams but I think sometimes my nightmares are helpful they do remind me the threat is still there the pain was real and thats how it felt I felt anxious, like I was always in the wrong for doing something I knew how to do and that it was torturous because I was the only one who believed me for the longest time.
Sometimes I want the nightmares gone and I think thats reasonable too but I'm also glad they help when they do.
TRICKSTER
