Bottled up

[Laughalready]

I'm in a very happy relationship with my girlfriend for 6 years now, the only issue I was having was being unable to express my feelings to her. I just seemed like it was the way I am with never showing emotions or being able to express myself, I was always happy and enjoying life but couldn't show it. Recently I realised I would cope by consuming alcohol, like alot and all the time. Even more recently I drank way too much and all my bottled up emotions I never expressed to her got to me and I tried to seek another person. It has become a serious issue and I need to make changes and fix my issues before I hurt my loved ones any more than I already have.

I've already gone sober since that incident but there's still more I need to do. 

[Lilacloz]

In what way would you ideally like to express yourself to her and what emotions would you express? Also, by not expressing these emotions, what do you think it is protecting you from? 

[tacocat]

Hi @Laughalready and @Lilacloz 

I just wanted to do a quick welcome message, and thank you both for contributing to the forums. 

Also, FYI - if you add an @ plus the persons username, they will get a notification. That way it will be easier to have a bit of back and forth with forum members 🙂

[MJG017]

Hi @Laughalready, welcome to the forum and well done for recognising a serious issue and starting to work on it.  

I've never had an issue with alcohol, but I know what it's like to bottle up emotions and have trouble expressing my emotions to my partner.  I've always had trouble trusting anyone enough to let them that close to me.  Have you always been like that as well, or is it a more recent thing?  You said you were always happy and enjoying life, but couldn't show it.  So it makes me think you've always kept a certain emotion distance from people around you, like a lot of us do.  A kind of self protection I guess.

Again, well done for make the changes you have and let us know how you're getting on and any way we can help support you.

[Laughalready]

It's more of a me with everyone but it is really affecting my partner alot. I do enjoy social events and spending time with my partner but there's just no emotion or expression of feelings from me. Can almost seem monotone and uninterested when I really am and trying to be. I completely trust her and her to me before this incident.

[8ppleTree]

HI @Laughalready 

Welcome to the forums 👍

It sounds like a really frustrating situation to be in for both you and your partner. Kudos to you for going sober and wanting to do the work to investigate deeper. 

Is the monotone you describe something that's always been there throughout the relationship or something new? It might be worth chatting to someone about. If you wanted to, you could try SANE's Support Line: 1800 187 263 (10AM - 8PM).

Take Care 

[Laughalready]

Always been there, known for mumbling and I know myself about the monotone