@fraser845 

'I really can not determine between a BPD related behavior and just someone who is trying to emotionally manipulate me'

Yep that sounds familiar unfortunately.

How do I cope with it?

Not very well a lot of the time unfortunately 😕

One of the biggest pieces of advice I wish I had followed a lot sooner is to put in place boundaries. I think I explain our boundaries back on page 1 or 2 of this thread. This is something a councillor helped me put in place while my darling was in hospital (mental health unit).

We are still very much a work in progress as at that time we had 18 years of bad habits to break.  What Iblearned at the time that what I thought I was doing to help ( making allowances and excuses for bad behaviour in order to take the load off) was actually enabling that bad behaviour.