Hi @Shaz51

I read you thread last night and wondered if it was that my brain was tired because I could not answer - and it's lunchtime and I just got up so I must have been tired

But I still find it hard to answer - still - I'm not tired

But I will have a go

I don't know if his need to control you is because of his mental illness directly or if it is a side effect but I strongly believe that there are people who have a need to control other people around them and what I was thinking about while I drank a glass of milk and ate a snack was what defines MI because that is obscure - maybe there are people who just need to control others and can be violent about it - and others are manipulative

TS is so manipulative I have wondered if she is twisted inside somewhere - but I can't be sure of that - pretty sure there is something wrong with people who have a need to be the bossy cocky and nothing works but what they say works - Idodn't like being controlled and I don't think anyone else would like that either

It's really hard for you living in a small rural environment and also I have found that people do not ring you - I feel I have to do the ringing and I gave that away long ago - maybe other people have found that themselves - people ring other people when they have some kind of business or news to exchange - and I can understand and feel it myself - who wants to be the one that always reaches out

But what to do? You will not be working as much next year - and you can't drive - can you ride a bike?

And personlly I know your husband has MI but not all of his behaviour is caused by that - and one thing that pops into my mind is that it would be better to take a walk and just find a spot where you can be alone for however long you need to be away from this demand on you personally - it is actually a form of abuse

But otherwise I really don't know what to answer - it is really hard for me to know

But yes -  I do care about it

Dec