Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

[Determined]

@Former-Member  sharing the way you do has been a big encouragement for me. Sometimes challenging (in a positive way) but encouraging and much appreciated.

[Determined]

I have tried sharing here a couple of times over the last week some of what I am processing but hard to find a balance without going into too much detail or being too negative.  In a bit of a black hole atm. Feeling unwell not helping at all. 

[Determined]

One of my biggest hurdles at the moment is I am really craving some love and affection and it has been made abundantly clear that is never going to happen. I am expected to give a hug for comfort when needed but never more than that and never reciprocated.

[Former-Member]

Am hearing you @Determined, it is a tough issue. Have you been able to mention this aspect of life to your counselor?  

[Determined]

Not in recent times @Former-Member 

Currently only ongoing counselling support is with gp. Have an app with gp later this week. 

[Former-Member]

Is it worth asking if GP aware of a therapist who has experience with carers and specifically BPD carers @Determined. They might be happy to do a MH plan if you don't already have one. 

[Determined]

Have had MH plans before @Former-Member so that won't be a problem. Finding a carer specific with understanding of bpd will be the challenge.  Most councillors I have seen while not unhelpful had all thought they can solve all of my issues in 6 visits with some breathing exercises. 

[Determined]

I think I am feeling down moreso than usual as darling has a significant birthday upcoming. I really should do something special for her but can't get motivated or excited to do anything. 

Also it is coming up to 2 year anniversary of in crisis treatment for darling that removed  what little emotional connection we did have.

[Former-Member]

Feeling your frustration Bro,   I told my counselor straight up that mindfulness/breathing was not for me @Determined   The free Carers Aust counselling helped me understand what proper carer focused counseling entailed and I was very grateful for that service. 

Mr Darcy is waiting to see a new psychologist and I have asked pdoc if any correspondence needs to be entered into so he does not come home with another mindfulness CD to add to the collection he never uses.  I think unless things are actively mentioned that this is the default they go to.

[Former-Member]

Thinking of you @Determined , how are things going?