Lived Experience Forum

[MDT]

Hey @Former-Member
I haven't seen you for a while.
I can see you are in a bit of strife atm but just saying I'm sitting here with you. Not sure what I can say or do to help sadly.

[Former-Member]

Thank you for chatting to me @outlander.
The thing is it’s me. I’m scum.
All the studies show that kids of people with severe mi have really bad outcomes. If I had a kid I would screw it up cause I’m so screwed up. So I’m not really allowed to have children if you see my meaning. And I don’t think I could handle the pain of being close to someone without children/incentive to do so.
I’m just worthless crap. But I’m too scared to cs. I just want to be gone and be part of the bush.

[outlander]

@Former-Member
i can see where your coming from, but i still dont think your scum. i think your MI is causing you alot of grief and dont really know what to do with it.
I dont think ill ever have kids either, for the same fears and possibly physically either.
Mental health really sucks! they need to find a cure somehow

[Former-Member]

Thanks @outlander.
I think I might play a computer game till I feel tired. Problem is I just can’t get this image of being part of the land out of my head.
I do hope when the time comes that it’s peaceful. I’m not religious and I don’t believe in god, but I like the idea of being at peace.

[Teej]

Hey @Former-Member. There are lots of things that define us. Having children is just a small part. Having a relationship doesn’t have to be about kids. It can be a companionship type of relationship as well that can be fulfilling. If I ever go down that path of getting close to anyone again I think that’s the kind of relationship I’d be having. I’ve been trashed by relationships. I’m too messed up for one now too. 

So you are not alone. I know I have kids but it’s not everything and often not enough to keep me here. 

Go gently on you. I know there’s lots of reasons for you to hang around above the earth for longer 😘

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Teej, I just really struggle sometimes.
Sometimes it’s just really hard.

[outlander]

@Former-Member maybe you could try meditating out in the fresh air under a tree or somewhere scenic. it might help with those feelings and allow you to just breathe and be at peace for a few minutes

[Former-Member]

Hi @ham_solo,
Thanks for the thoughts, hope you are well.
I follow a lot of what you and @outlander write and I’m happy to see things looking up for you.

[Teej]

I know @Former-Member, I know. It sucks. Let’s just hope it gets better at some point and plod along until it does. 💜🤗

[Former-Member]

Plod.